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bloody ads...

What is it with dodgy ads on the telly at the moment? Is it a global issue, or something that only us poor bastards here on the border are subjected to with thanks to pathetic regional television? Bring back those fantastic ads that were on during the Olympics in 2000. Remember those?? Fosters NAILED it. To this day, it was one of the BEST ad campaigns I've ever seen. That and the 'Is Don. Is Good' ones with the gogo mobile man. Just classic.

The worst of the current bunch would have to be, without a doubt, the pathetic attempts by Rivers. Apparently I'm nothing but a brain dead consumer. Either that or the 'advertisements' - and I use the term loosely - are the result of a work experience kids work ending up on the wrong desk. Let me give you a rundown:

It's a simple slideshow of what could possibly be scanned pages straight from a Rivers catalog thats seen better days. Some versions get a little complicated. They have more than 3 different pictures. The genius who can count past 3 has my vote for Prime Minister...The voice overs - one for each slide show - are monotonous, boring and could be the bloke that waits for the pub to open at 10am every day. I'm not sure. One of them could even be the chick from the local servo who I'm sure can't remember her name. But heres where it gets good. Can you guess what they are saying? I'll bet ya can't. They are saying "WHY.....are Rivers clothes.....soooooo comfortable?" Now I'm not only brain dead but my short term memory apparently sucks too cos they say it TWICE. And thats the ad.

Now I've been trying to rack my brains for days over what marketing tactic they are utilising to get me to buy their goods. They aren't appealing to my parental side, there is no free toy involved. They certainly aren't trying to play on my emotions. I think the guy who used to tell you the time when you phoned had more life in his voice than these guys. They aren't going for a time limit thing, this is a clearance store. Everything is on special. All the time.

Then it hit me. It's brilliant. Pure class. They'll be teaching this tactic at uni's for years to come. They've employed "PISS OFF THE CONSUMER WITH PATHETIC ADS UNTIL THEY COME INTO THE STORE TO PUNCH OUR LIGHTS OUT & WHILE THEY ARE HERE HOPEFULLY THEY'LL BUY SOMETHING" strategy. I think if I see the ad one more time tonight they will succeed....that is, up until the punch their lights out part....