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Quick! Dad is coming

Things to do before he arrives:

• Hide naughty dvd's and remove current selection from player
• Burn/hide effigy of him that is holding the laundry door open
• Clean toilet
• Show Zoe photos and encourage the term 'grandad' instead of 'old fart with big nose'
• Stuff all dirty clothes in laundry cupboard and claim smell comes from next door
• Buy scotch - for dad
• Buy scotch & Valium - for me
• Take down dart board - or at least photo of dad on bullseye
• Hide dope - note to self, NOT in mixed herbs jar again
• Buy takeaway food BEFORE he arrives so I can put in pots and claim to have cooked it
• smile smile smile!!

***Update - Dad has been and gone, below is a pic of him that he WILLINGLY let me take a copy of from his collection. Silly boy. I call it the smile smile smile!! pic and may just put this up as a replacement on the dartboard....

p.s Dad saw this post and pissed himself laughing....