Back to main page

emotionally exhausted...

....for all that's going on in my life right now, but mainly because of the 2996 tribute project I've been a part of.

I signed up thinking 'what a great idea, it's the least I could do, and hey it's only one post right?' WRONG.

It's been so much more than that. As anyone who has tried to write a fitting tribute will tell you, it's probably been one of the hardest things they've ever done. How do you write a tribute to someone you've never met? How do you do justice to their life in one blog post? What if a family member or friend reads it? Will they like it? Does it truly tell the story of this individuals life?

These are just some of the questions that run through your mind. Then there is the personal connection you make to this person as you research. As you read quotes from family and friends. One of the ones that hit home to me was a message on a message board dated September 11, 2001 looking for news of Marisa. I just cried for the hope and desperation. I tried to contact the friend but the email address was no longer valid.

I also spoke to Marisa's mother. She had no idea who I was, what I was doing, or what I was calling for. Either did I really. I felt like I was intruding, and apologised if I was. I gave her my name, my website address and my phone number. Mrs DiNardo, if you read this, please accept this as my apology if I upset, or confused you. I really just wanted you to know that Marisa will be remembered. I wanted to be sure that someone who knew her, knew that.

Aside from the emotions that were evoked when writing her tribute, reading others had a similar impact. It's so easy to remember images, numbers, facts and statistics. Maybe thats why history records events like this in this way. It's easier on those of us left behind. But the hard part is to listen to, or read, the personal stories. It makes it REAL. It makes it HURT. It makes it PERSONAL. Some of the tributes are just terrifyingly heartbreaking.

I'll never be sorry I was part of this. I WILL read EVERY SINGLE TRIBUTE if it takes me months. And I will forever be changed for each one I read.

Regular programming will return to normal in a few days here at Spilling the beans I'm sure, but for now, I'm on an emotional journey that is far from over.....

Take care.