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Our new life

Well we are here and settling into the lovely tropics ready for a new life. One with seemingly constant sunshine which can't help but raise one's spirits, birds that sound like a cat is being strangled alongside the beautiful parrots and bugs that think my feet are a damn smorgasboard! It's great. We are slowly getting used to the weather, and I even had socks on last night. But not because it was cold, it's kinda hard to do anything when your constantly scratching your damn feet :)

I won't go into the roller coaster ride of emotions that I've been on in the last few weeks. For those that have chose to leave a relationship because you need to rather than want to, you'll understand and empathise with me. For those that haven't, you don't wanna hear about it and wouldn't get it anyway. Not saying that as a bad thing, it's just that it's really not as black and white as what it may appear on the surface. Lets just say that I made the right decision, it hurts like hell, but I can, and will heal. I just need time to grieve and find myself again thats all.

Stu is arriving in town today which on the one hand is good, he is one of my best friends and has been for a long time. On the other it's not necessarily the best thing for me right now. I need to impress on him that I need my space and time to do that healing I mentioned above and that when I say we have a chance, there are a lot of ifs, buts and maybes attached to it. He says he gets it, but he really doesn't. He is still really only hearing part of what I'm saying. I'm being totally selfish right now, as I have to be, and if needs be I will end the friendship in order to save my sanity. I don't think it will come to that, but I am prepared to. I need to redefine myself outside an emotionally draining relationship and focus on Zoe and myself right now.

To that end, I've already found her school, very similar in fact to her old one, only a touch smaller. An appointment is setup for next Monday to get her enrolled and chat with the principal about her needs. They welcome parent help, have a P&C, volunteer run canteen and are excited about her coming to the school. Unlike one that I spoke to on the phone that wondered just what subject acceleration was! I'm also going to get her into a sport. My sister's boyfriend's daughter plays basketball and she's only a year older than Zoe so thats looking like a great one to start with. At least she'll have a friend there! She's missing her friends terribly, but is enjoying having nanny and poppy in the same house and her gorgeous little cousin thinks she's just the best. She's also looking forward to school. We have her uniform, it's just cool as...will post pics after her first day for you all!

As for me I'm going to go and find myself a few things to do once she's at school. Things just for me. I'm going to sign up for yoga, treat myself to a makeover, me and my sister are going to start going to the gym and I'm going to have a look at that teachers aide course and see if it's available up here. Things that will basically help me fill in the time, meet new people and help me remember who I am without all the definitions others place on me.

Things should return to normal here at spilling the beans before too long, in the meantime I thank you all for your patience, understanding and wonderful thoughts. Sometimes this internet thing sucks cos I can't reach out and give you all a big hug.....