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thoughts...

Usually when I'm writing a post, I have most of written in my head before I even start. This time I'm going to try something different, just for the heck of it! I'm going to sit here and just write what I'm thinking. About anything, and everything, or maybe nothing at all! We'll see how, and where, it goes shall we?

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Zoe has been a little, shall we say, testy lately. And it's getting to ridiculous stage. I guess I've been letting her get away with a few things and making excuses because of all the changes. She has slowly been getting worse for awhile now and it's time to put an end to it. Unfortunately the only thing that works at times like this is to totally come down really hard until she's sorted herself out. Shouldn't be more than a day or two from the reaction I got when letting her know what was happening last night. Time will tell on how effective my method is. It's worked in the past so I see no reason why it shouldn't now. But something definitely has to give. She's back chatting, second guessing and questioning EVERYTHING that comes out of my mouth, arguing, asking for the same thing over and over and bloody over again hoping that my answer will change and all the while the sooky la la factor increases 10 fold! I'm over it. Big time. I'm sick and tired of being cranky and arguing back and justifying myself to a five year old. Sometimes she needs to just remember that I'm the grown up and she's the child. Come to think of it, so do I :)

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Did I tell you we went and signed up to the city library the other day? They let us borrow 12 items each, thats TWELVE items each! How cool is that. And we can have them for 4 weeks. Zoe got 10, and we found another one for her in the nonfiction section that went onto my card. Oh yeah, she even has her own card, she's ever so chuffed! She got a nice mix of fun and fact, easy and challenging so I was pleased. I got 5 books. One on digital photography, 2 on yoga and 2 on natural magic and the philosophies behind it. The photography and yoga most of you won't be surprised at, but I can see some of you sitting there thinking "natural magic?? WTF??" I love it. I love the spells. I love the idea that different scents, colors and substances represent different things. Now I'm not claiming to do MAGIC or anything, but I love the idea of spells or talismans, homemade scented candles etc etc. I think that in the preparation of these things, you allow your state of mind and your life to be open for whatever it is you are wishing to change. So that's what it's about. I'm not a witch, not about to become wiccan or even chuck off all my clothes and run naked through the forest recreating pagan rituals in the moonlight..although that last bit does sound like fun don't it?!! I'm just reading about things I find interesting and that help me to get my head where I would like it to be.

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Stu is up here now. It's been hard in some aspects, and cool in others. He understands now why I had to leave and why we can't just go back to the where we were. I need to live my life, and he needs to live his and if we end up finding later down the track that the spark is still there, then so be it, but we can't and I won't, live my life with that being the end goal. So I'm available, and should someone come along, then great. Whilst I wouldn't say I'm actively seeking, I'm looking. I need to find new friends. Not because I don't love the old ones, but because they are too far away to just go hang out with, or go grab a coffee and talk shit. I need the company. Talking with you guys on here is great, but there is something to be said for just chillin with people. Know what I mean? I think that's why I'm so gungho on the activities at the moment. Do things you enjoy and your automatically going to come into contact with people who share at least one interest with you aren't you? Especially if you do it at the same time each week....oh well. I'm not really sure where I'm going with this, just rambling as my mind wanders I think.

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I've added a new category to Spilling the Beans. I've called it "Did I ever tell you about..." There is nothing on there yet, but will do one shortly. Tossing up between the story of how I found out I was pregnant or the blue tack/waxing incidents with anonypop. Both stories will be told in time I'm sure, so you'll just have to wait and see which one is first. Will be interesting to see which memories I'll care to share too. Am I going to only share the good and funny? Or some of the painful ones aswell. This will be an interesting exercise for both of us I think. I once said that it's an interesting experience looking through someone's blogroll, it gives you a little more insight into who they are to a certain extent. The same can be said for the choice of what they write. Or, sometimes the more telling one, what they don't write about.

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Heres a pic of the flower box we put to use. It looked so lonely and lost! It's on the outside of a shed/extra room downstairs that is going to be turned into a cubby hut for the kids. Did I mention that we are living in a Queenslander?? (House on stilts for those who don't know!) I love Queenslanders, the house type and the people type. Anyway onto the photo...here it is:

Here's a close up of our choice of plants. I can't be bothered going downstairs to see exactly what they are.

I think I'm going to shut up now, this is turning into a novel......till next time, I'll try and keep the dribble to a minimum!