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Life's good

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Sun, Nov 05, 2006

Life's good

It seems as though I've almost reached everything I was striving for just a short time ago. As of next Friday, the very last piece of my new puzzle will be in place and the next chapter of my life will be well underway.

You see Wednesday night is the first night of our Yoga Beginner's class, I've even managed to rope mum and Mel to come along with me for that one :) We are confirmed and rearing to go. Next Friday I have an interview/orientation for that Tafe course I enrolled in. Seems my application was accepted and a letter was sent out on Thursday, which I found out upon ringing to find out WTF was happening and why I hadn't heard anything after two and half weeks. Not sure whether the whole 'letter is in the mail' was just a line, or whether it really was and my timing was pure coincidence. Either way I don't care. The lady I spoke to on the phone made the appointment for me and I don't see her doing that unless it was fair dinkum can you?

I'm not sure what's going on, but I am totally stunned at just how quickly, and easily, everything has come together. Is it simply my time? Or is the new attitude, the new me, and the longing for change simply attracting all the right energies into my life? Its felt like for so long that I've been swimming against the tide, and all of a sudden, the tide has turned. Everything is right in front of me for the taking, and there is nothing I can't achieve right now. If I wish it, it will happen. So what do I wish for next? Or do I be content with this new life and simply enjoy all it entails. At the moment I'm taking a moment each day to just sit back, and smell the coffee, and revel in the small but extraordinary changes in me and the world around me. The simple things are important again. My goals seemed so out of my league yet I'm surpassing them each and every day with little or no effort. I keep wondering when the bubble is going to burst...

I've been a bit slack with staying in touch with my 'old life' too. Not because it's not important to me, or I no longer care for those people who were part of that life. I think perhaps it's simply that I'm scared to linger too much in the past for fear of not being able to step into the future. If I don't jump completely, perhaps I'll not succeed. I feel bad sometimes. But at the same time know that those friends and family, or parts of myself that I may be neglecting understand that I'm not like this because I don't care for them anymore, but it's just how I need to do this, or else I may not do it. I have no doubts that when I'm certain this new phase of my life isn't going anywhere, I'll be a better friend, a better daughter, and a better sister, better aunty and a better ME.

No matter how much I feel like a new person, and have a whole new life, I'm still the same old ME. I still have the same wants, needs, desires, feelings, likes and dislikes. I think the real change isn't WHO I am, but WHAT I choose to listen to from within, and how I choose to present myself to the world. It's a shift in perception. How I perceive myself, and the world. It's different priorities. The 'to do' list is still the same, I've just rearranged that list into something that I want and need rather than what others need from me. Or perhaps, what I THINK they need from me. Maybe thats been my mistake all along...

Last, but certainly not least, I'm giving up smoking....wish me luck. I think between the whole cleansing of the mind and body, striving for a better health level and a nagging Zoe who reads my smoke packet to me every day and can tell you the QUIT line off by heart along with all the physical negatives, I realised it was time. Hey, I'm on a roll, I've got a pretty good chance of beating it this time don't I?!

Posted in: how i see it, life
Spilled by debambam at 9:46 PM
I changed it on: Sun, Nov 05, 2006 10:16 PM

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