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Top Ten things your waiter/waitress is just dying to say to you.

Having spent the majority of my working life in hospitality, there were many a time I had to bite my bloody tongue when serving customers who are such wankers as to hardly qualify as human. Anyone who has the pleasure of waiting upon others whilst they eat can relate I'm sure. So here they are. The top ten things I would have LOVED to have said at one time or another...

10) You can get your own water. See it's right THERE.

9) Yes that is a fly in your dessert, the chef spit on your steak too. Oh and there was snot in your soup.

8) You can just bloody well wait!

7) Actually the special tastes like shit, don't order it.

6) No, I wouldn't like to bring you the dessert menu, I want you to leave already. I got a party to go to.

5) I'm being nice to you because I'm paid to be nice, not because I think you're cute. Dork.

4) Are you sure you can afford this? Those shoes look like they cost you 50c.

3) You could have left a bigger tip you tight ass

2) Oh shit, I forgot to give your order to the kitchen!

1) Would you like a bib?

p.s If you haven't already, be sure to check out Gina. She's this week's renter and I've neglected her rather badly with the whole 9/11 thing. Sorry Gina...i'm usually a better landlord than this :)

just stuff!

Well it's only 11am and I'm exhausted already. Brekky club was a special occasion this morning with the son and daughter in law of the women who left the bequest to Red Cross that is funding the program, coming along to see how it all works. They let Red Cross know a while back that they would be in town so it was a good opportunity for them to see where their mum's money went, and what it is achieving We had the local paper come along and they spent a bit of time talking with us all and taking pics. Should be a story within the next few days! I'll keep you posted. It was wonderful to be able to say 'thankyou' to someone for helping get this program running. Last week I got the kids to all write thankyous on a whopping big card and we presented that to them this morning as well. Of course because the kids knew they were coming we had a larger number than usual turn up, but it was good. Unfortunately those extras included one who will be BANNED from the program for two weeks for an inappropriate comment written on the card. He writes with a very distinctive K, and his name has one in their so it was easy to figure out who it was. He doesn't come usually anyway, but the principal will be following up, and if he does come back in the next fortnight he'll be asked to please leave. Little turd. There is always one isn't there? Oh well, it didn't stop the morning being a successful one with many thanks on both our part and theirs! The son assures me that his mum will be smiling down from above extremely pleased with what the money is being used for. It was great to hear.

On another note, I simply CANNOT get that zazzle thing where you can link to a pic from the blog and have it automatically inserted into a product working. Doesn't really matter, not likely that anyone will ever buy anything anyway! I'll still keep doing them though, it's great fun. Lets my creative side out a bit :)

Last, but certainly not least, take a peek at this weeks guest. Her name is Bianca, she's 29 and hails from Tulsa, Oklahoma. The site is called 'Stir Fry Kitty' and she has her fingers in a few pots. On her site you'll notice there are a few 'Stir Fry Kitty' links, all well worth a look. There are web designs, reviews, recipes, and opinions across all these sites. Once again I've made it easy for you. Just click the pic below. Tell her I sent ya and enjoy yourself! With such variety i'm sure there will something for all of you.

Thats it from me at the moment. I'll be closing the poll of the week (which has been running for 2 weeks now!) tomorrow morning, so if you haven't already, be sure to vote. It's in the sidebar. There are two clear favorites at the moment, and if it stays that close I may just write a post about both of them!!

happy happy joy joy

Well in comparison to that last post, thats the mood I'm in!!

Oh well, shit happens I guess.

Anyway, onto more important matters. Go give Dawn a rousing send off, her time is nearly up, and by the time I'm up in the morning, she'll have packed her bags and headed home. Not that I've even noticed her around here....damn she's quiet! So if you haven't already, I'll make it easy for you - CLICK HERE! Whatchya waiting for?

I'm off to noddy land right now. Its been an exhausting day of doing absolutely nothing. Well, other than 3 loads of washing, making a bug catcher, 3 hours explaining to Zoe why the different parts of the bug catcher were necessary and about 20 hours of playing that stupid x-box. Lord help me when we get the 360 and Oblivion....Oh and I made some of my infamous anzac bikkies. And wouldn't you know it? They still taste yummo! I have to make them after Zoe goes to bed, otherwise between her and babe, they last less time than it takes to make them :)

Nighty night peoples, hope your weekend was fantabulous!

volunteering...do it for yourself!

Good afternoon all. I've spent a pleasant day up at the school. The WHOLE day.

First off we had brekkie club, 40 kids this morning so that was good. The feedback from staff regarding some of our regulars has been nothing but positive, so we are making a difference. In at least one case, a HUGE difference.

Then I headed into Zoe's class where I worked with the grade 1 students - inc Zoe, no she's not 'officially' in grade 1, but is doing mostly the same as them everyday anyway - on estimating lengths of, then measuring different items. God it was fun! I had to laugh when nearly all of them thought their spelling book was the same number of paddle pop sticks long as their desks. One thought that the blackboard was 600,000 sticks long!! Watching the reactions when they realised just how close - or far off - some of their estimates were was just priceless.

Then it was off to canteen which is always a giggle.

After that I headed back to Zoe's class for some fun watching them paint a picture of themselves before sport.

While sport was on I headed over to the brekkie club room to do my stock count and found one of the teachers setting up for the 'first steps' program, so I helped her out! First Steps is 2 hours on Friday afternoons from week 5 of this term and all of next term for those who are enrolling in Kindergarten next year. It helps them get comfortable with the school setting and next term some of the days involve finding out about the library and canteen and how they work. Makes the transition next year much easier. And not just for the kids. Parents/Carers benefit as well by meeting other parents, and getting used to the idea of leaving their children at school. I think it certainly helped me. Zoe was so ok with her first day, and it wasn't the first time I'd been up the school either. It's fantastic. The new principal (who has been one FOREVER) said he has never seen new students settle in as well as those who attended First Steps last year.

All in all, I had a ball. I love working with the kids, and I'm always laughing! So if you've never done it, and have the time, go volunteer somewhere. If you have kids, call the school and see how you can help out. Call a local charitable organisation. Join meals on wheels. ANYTHING really. I guarantee it's one of the most rewarding things you'll ever do, and you may just change someones life in the process.

Now, onto other important matters. We have a new guest this week, and you should go check her out...Hothousemomma is a little like me. Go read and you'll see why I say that. Tell her I sent you. I've even made it easy for you this week, just click below! No need to move that mouse over to the sidebar! Aren't I good to you? Now return the favor and get clickin!!

can't be bothered giving this post a title..

..so I won't!

I've been busy. As you've probably gathered from the lack of posting. My mother called me to see if I was alive to day because I hadn't posted for two days...

Have lots to share, including a rant, a rave and some of my invaluable wisdom, but that can wait for another day. Right now I'm doing a cheaters post and sending you off to some other sites cos quite frankly, I can't bothered, just like the title says! Oh and just for fun, why don't you all just discuss the following hypothetical in the comments amongst yourselves..

If you had the chance to find out what the 'meaning of life' was, BUT you could never record, write, discuss, allude to or even hint about it with anyone else, would you? A simple yes or no answer will not suffice here...I wanna know WHY you choose yes or no.

Ok, here are some links -in no particular order - for you to go see:

• This weeks renter - Clusterfook. She's rude, she's crude but my god she's funny! Not for kiddies this one, but well worth a look for us wannabe grownups..
• Brainteasers - Kind of says it all doesn't it? Go flex those brain muscles..
• Big things - Us Aussies pride ourselves on our BIG things, obviously a bloke thing happening here, I mean 'big is better' is NOT always the case - and I'm talking about CHOCOLATE cakes here before you accuse me of being a naughty girl. I mean think about it, if you had a chocolate cake the size of your lounge room wouldn't it be torture to see it sitting there and NOT being able to fit just one more crumb in after you've gorged yourself stupid? I think at the moment we are really quite envious of our Yankee counterparts though. It's a close contest but I do believe you guys have the bigger idiot running the country..

Have fun, try not to kill each other in the comments hey? I don't like cleaning up....

beds, baths and a soapbox

Zoe's got a friend over tonight. They've had a great time. They've played hide and seek with teddies.They've drawn pictures. They've shared general knowledge. They've had a bath together. And right now they are still up talking and yacking in Zoe's bed even though it's nearly eleven pm. I think it's great. I love watching her interact with her friends, learning important social skills, exchanging ideas and laughing. Oh man, have they been laughing! It does her good to see how other children react, and respond to her and some of the little quirks that make her who she is. It's an interesting exercise watching kids as they find their equilibrium within themselves and each other.

I can hear you all now......AAAWWWW isn't that cute? Now does your opinion change when I tell you the friend in question is a boy? Now your up there rereading those sentences and ten bucks says you stop on the "They've had a bath together" and "..in Zoe's bed." Now I know not all of you will be thinking like this...but at some point, someone will read this who goes "OMG" what are you thinking??"

I'm thinking that it's important for Zoe to have friends. I'm thinking that a friend is a friend is a friend. I'm thinking that anyone who honestly believes something BAD will happen simply because a little boy and a little girl share a bath or a bed needs their heads read. These are 5 and 6 year old kids! If your seriously thinking along those lines I suggest you take a look at your own thought processes..

At bath time, they got undressed, took a look at each others bits, pointed and laughed, were over it in about 60 seconds and then promptly climbed in and did exactly what Zoe and her other friends do when they have a bath together...they had fun and got clean all at the same time!

Now I suppose your wondering why I'm writing what would seem to be a defensive post. Well I guess I am. Call it instinct, call it my natural optimism that some people who have nothing better to do with their time will at some point read this post and send nasty emails or leave derogatory comments regarding my parenting skills. Well guess what? My little girl has a friend over tonight and they've had a great time (still are in fact!) so unless your going to say "oh isn't that great!" or something along those lines, then bugger off ok? This is my blog, and I can, and will delete any comments I don't like...

Now, I'll get down off my little soapbox, and just say one more thing before I head to bed for the night....have you been to visit Winsome Gunning yet? She's this weeks renter, and she hasn't quite got her credits worth yet, so do yourself, and me, a favor and head on over. Be sure to check out some of the archives. Personally I'm loving it over there at the moment....I just LOVE her current post!

Nighty night peoples. Sweet dreams!

P.S. Poppy, put the shotgun down and take that ammo out ok? Babe has it under control.....

things I heard today...

"Are you a folder or a scruncher?"

My delightful other half, I guess you just can't know TOO much info about your loved ones hey?

"My mum is a terrible fixer, but she does her best, and thats all a mum can do isn't it?"

A five year old discussing his mum and her attempts at fixing broken toys..

"MUM I MIH MY MUNG!!!"

Zoe's response to my queries after a bite of fresh cinnamon donut caused sobbing, care to take a guess what she was trying to say??!

"OOOOH you are just sooooo naughty, I think you should go to your room and think about what you've done when we get home!"

A little girl who couldn't have been more than 6 to her mother...gotta love kids don't ya?!

Stay tuned, I may actually have a REAL post tomorrow!

just a quickie

....and not the kind that I know some of you are thinking of!

• Go take a peek at my newest tenant..he's funny, sarcastic, and sees things in a way that reminds me of myself...slightly warped and outside the box. You won't regret it, but be warned, don't read while drinking coffee ok? It's just easier than wiping it off your screen...
• I have an interesting meeting this afternoon, will tell you all about it later tonight..in the meantime, wish me luck!
• Zoe isn't reading at level 26 anymore - she's at level 30. And whilst she's not officially being grade skipped, 90% of the work she's doing now is late grade 1 level. And she's worried about asking her teacher if she can write on lined paper 'cos Kindergarteners don't write on lined paper mum!' More on this saga once i've had my meeting with the principal tomorrow
• We have a psycho cat....stupid bloody thing..

Have fun!