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mchappy day

Last week, Zoe saw some ads on the telly for McHappy Day and asked what it was, so I told her all about it. So she made an envelope, and wrote a poster asking people to help the sick kids...and put some money in it as a donation. It was her own money that nanny had given to her to do what she wanted with it. It was just gorgeous. She made me promise to take her so that she could give them the envelope and donation and buy a big mac to donate another dollar to the Ronald McDonald House charity. So we did. They loved her present and put the donation in their cans and then stuck her poster up on the wall with the coloring competition entrants. Then she had her face painted.

I love that she not only wants to know about charities, and giving, but that she understands that its a good thing to do, AND she wants to do it. She quite often asks for coins to put in the guide dog money boxes at the supermarket, or instead of throwing toys and old clothes out we'll give them to charity shops to sell or give to those less fortunate. I'm really very proud of my little girl who has a social conscious and who genuinely loves to help others....guess I must be doing something right hey! If your in Australia, and haven't done so already, head on down to your nearest Maccas and buy a big mac. If Zoe can do it, then so can you...have a good one!

mother nature

I don't believe in God, not in the conventional sense anyway. I believe in something, I've yet to really define it though. We all spend our lives searching for that one 'something' that rings true to us on a deep level. There are a few words that come to mind that are apt for my basic beliefs. Energy. Universe. Mother Nature. They would all suffice I suppose. There would be some of you thinking that is God. That this is how God speaks to me. I would disagree, but that is a discussion for another day! I do believe in the amazing power of Mother Nature. I didn't realise how true this was until I was pregnant.

To this day I am totally amazed that I created life without instructions, or a manual. I don't mean the mechanics of actually falling pregnant, I mean the rest of it. I didn't consciously sit down and think "Oh it's time to grow a kidney for my baby today." So I look at Zoe on a daily basis and think "I can't believe I did that." What is it about pregnancy and motherhood that convinces each and every single one of us that we are the only person to ever have done so? I believe it's Mother Nature's way of ensuring we take pride in what we've done. When you are proud of something, you try to do a good job of it. I think this is kind of like the large eyes and heads of babies that make them look more appealing so that we want to look after them. It's very sad for me to think that the most powerful emotions I've ever experienced are a result of a species way of ensuring it's continuance, but I guess that is what I'm saying in a way isn't it? Oh well, for whatever reason, I embrace and relish my personal responses to what Mother Nature has given me.

Mother nature instills into us from the day we are born the instincts to survive. We are born knowing to suckle, from which we receive our nourishment. Smiling, crying, laughing. These are all universal signs. Children who speak different languages can still communicate with these tools. Without communication, there is no community. Without community, this animal would struggle to survive. The flight or fight response to danger. It's another of mother nature's ways of ensuring we survive as individuals and therefore as a species. These are only a few examples.

When I was pregnant, I should have taken more notes. All those foods that I suddenly had an aversion to or couldn't eat, Zoe eats very little of now. Those that I craved, she eats like they are going out of fashion. This was true for foods that I could or couldn't eat while she was breastfeeding. Her sleeping habits whilst I was carrying her were indicative of routines she would set for herself once she had arrived. When she was giving me grief from the inside, a bath would calm both her and myself down. From the day she was born, a bath would settle her like nothing else. She never liked being swaddled, despite nurses attempts to keep her arms close to her body because apparently that makes them feel secure. I reckon this is why she was so small at birth. Didn't grow too big because she needed all that room to move! To this day if she has a doona or blanket over her whole body I wonder what is wrong with her. She needs room to move. All those little signs that were there to give me some clues. It's a pity I was so sleep deprived during the first 12 months that I couldn't remember my own name let alone interpret what Mother Nature was trying to tell me...maybe she has a sick sense of humor hey?!

What brought this post on was me thinking last night about a theory I once heard that I think is of Eastern origin that suggests the direction, ie. North, South, East and West, in which you were facing when you are born is the best way for you to sleep to achieve true rest. I will admit that I've moved my bed to another wall of a bedroom and found that sleep is better. Laugh if you will, but I think there is something in it! But it also made me think that perhaps the TIME we are born could indicate what part of the day we are at our peaks. I was born at 10.04pm and am indeed a night person. One of my other sisters was also born at night and couldn't be described as a morning person. The other one was born in the middle of the afternoon and is neither a night nor morning person. Zoe was born at 8.26am and is most definitely a morning person. However as mum pointed out this morning as we were both sitting there wishing she wasn't so damn bubbly at that ungodly hour of the day, most children are! How about you? Four examples could hardly be described as the ideal sample for me to base a theory on, so have a think about yourself, or people you know, your own children etc. Is the time of birth a clue from Mother Nature informing us of the optimum time of day for individuals? Or am I making something out of nothing simply because I look for reasons to justify my belief in the power of Mother Nature?

Grandad's missing fingers

Ok, you voted. I listened. You wanted to hear about Grandad's missing fingers. I'll bet you think i'm going to explain why my father is missing the index finger and half of the middle finger on his left hand and is left with little round stumps that cause him to make up new swear words whenever I have no intentions of doing so, but I will offer you this piece of advice:

• Don't let your younguns sit on the back of the tractor poking the shit out of the cutty thingy with a stick when going round a bumpy corner of a paddock.

Ok, enough said. Onto the story you wanted.

We had been for a visit down to see the rellies, being christmas time and all, so Zoe got to spend time with Grandad and was fascinated with, and almost frightened of, his missing fingers. I guess for a kid it could be that way. Mum said he used to draw little faces on them and give us kids puppet shows over the back of the couch with them. But for some it can be a little freaky. Zoe had seen them before, but this time round she kinda shied away from them but at the same time couldn't stop looking at them.

Zoe went through a stage (still coming out the other side actually) of forever picking her nose. I mean it was an obsession. If she didn't have a finger up her nose then I was looking for needle marks because obviously someone had sedated her. Anyway we had been home for a few days after the visit and I was sick and tired of telling Zoe to get her damn fingers out of her nose. In total exasperation I finally told her "You know what happened to grandad's missing fingers? Well he was picking his nose and he shoved them so far up there they got STUCK and came right off and stayed up there!"

She looked at me in total horror, giving me visions of humungous future therapy bills.

Then she replied.

"Is that why his nose is so big?"

This is why you have children people. For comments like that one right there. And for the looks on their faces when you embarass them in front of 100 of their closest friends at their 21st birthday party retelling the stories.

has anyone seen my hearing???

I've lost it somewhere. It could be in the ball pit. It could even be in my shoes. But somewhere between the hours of 12 noon and 4.30pm this afternoon it disappeared. In a big tin shed that apparently holds around 15,000 kids at once. It couldn't have been any less than that judging by the level of noise us parents were subjected to. And one of them pinched my hearing. Either that or I now have a constant low buzzing that could be squealing, it could be the collective voices of all those kids screaming mum at different intervals, it could even be my own brain yelling SHUTUP! Either way I'm currently studying the lovely art of lip reading.

Never mind, Zoe enjoyed the birthday party. As did the birthday girl. Interesting to note however that I found both of them at one time or another hiding in the helicopter cabins trying to get away from all the other kids and have some quiet time. Wasn't going to happen. I laughed. So did my ears. Go ahead, call me cruel, I don't care. I can't hear you :)

feel good friday/Zoe @ school

Ok this is a little bit of a combined post. I was going to do one last night and then fell asleep at around 7.30 so never got around to it.

Heres why I'm feeling good:

• Brekky program is doing wonders for some of the kids. The principal considers me staff, I have keys, parking rights and right about now could just about burn down the school and he'd still be happy with me! The program is running like clockwork and the best bit is we have the family of the lady who left the bequest that is funding it coming to the school in a few weeks so we are going to present the with a big thank you card signed by all the kids who come along. I can't wait to be able to say THANKS. The kids are so excited. So all of that combined is making me feel good.
• I had a HUGE sleep last night, always make you feel good when your get to catch up on the shut eye doesn't it?
• Babe is doing well. And we've had some good news. None that I can share with you, but will help us out immensely and go along way towards seeing us get through all this.
• I FINALLY had a meeting with Zoe's teacher, the principal and the schools counselor, She has had the tests, we have the results and now some great ideas on where her strengths and weaknesses are as well as some ideas on where to focus and things to do. But more on that in the rest of the post.

Ok, onto more important things.

We have results from Zoe's WPPSI-III testing, which is used as one means of establishing whether a child is gifted or not. Zoe isn't. She is VERY bright, but not officially gifted. Which to be honest is a relief! However across the board she IS in the above average/superior range. The one area she struggles with is her comprehension. That is age appropriate, but in comparison to her reading/spelling/language ability, there is a huge gap. So the recommendation is to give her reading material that is below what she CAN do, and focus on teaching her how to get the information out and answer the questions about what she has read. It's interesting to note that she can answer very specific questions, but not general ones. Lets say she reads something about elephants. You ask her "what do you know about elephants?" and her response is likely to be "I can't remember" yet if you ask her "Tell me two places Elephants can live" and she'll be able to tell you. So thats what we are going to focus on. Teaching her how to use the information she has to answer the non specific questions as well. The biggest problem that the counselor could foresee, and this will apply her whole educational life, is that there will be unrealistic expectations placed on her based solely on her reading/spelling ability. So we have to be careful that any school she deals with doesn't do this. I admit that as parents, we are probably guilty of this at times too, but not much. We have to pull her back sometimes and say "Hey, just go be a kid!! Dig for bugs! Get dirty! Stop reading!!"

Bottom line of all of this is a few things:

• She is NOT gifted, which from our point of view is a GOOD thing
• Currently her needs ARE being met by programs and extension work and what we do at home. This will be monitored on a regular basis though. And this whole experience means that we aren't the only ones doing the monitoring. She is now part of the 'learning support' team. And everyone is talking to each other, which was all I ever wanted in the first place.
• We haven't been reading too much into her abilities, or been those boastful parents who think their child is smarter than what they are. She surprised us with just how bright she is - one test showed her spelling ability to be nearly 10 years old.
• I'm convinced that the school is doing what they need to be doing, and then some. The more I see, the more I'm impressed with her teacher. She's been very quietly extending Zoe all year with none of us realising just how far she has achieved this year.
• We have a few ideas on how to ensure that she keeps the enthusiasm for learning, as well as build on the social skills she will need.
• We should be very proud of not only her, but ourselves. All of them in that meeting remarked that while she has such an open, encouraging and loving family life like she has now, then she will be able to do whatever she wants and succeed not only on an academic level, but in life as well,

Ok, I'm shutting up now, I just thought I'd let you all know how things were. They are just fuckin brilliant is all I can say!

Take it easy ok?

p.s For those of you that frequent Michael, over at Smoke and Mirrors, you may have noticed that he recently had a guest blogger who goes by the name of 'writer chick' If you enjoy Michael's, you will most certainly enjoy her brand new blog I am sure. So stop by, say hi, and let her know that when she writes, you'll be reading!

beds, baths and a soapbox

Zoe's got a friend over tonight. They've had a great time. They've played hide and seek with teddies.They've drawn pictures. They've shared general knowledge. They've had a bath together. And right now they are still up talking and yacking in Zoe's bed even though it's nearly eleven pm. I think it's great. I love watching her interact with her friends, learning important social skills, exchanging ideas and laughing. Oh man, have they been laughing! It does her good to see how other children react, and respond to her and some of the little quirks that make her who she is. It's an interesting exercise watching kids as they find their equilibrium within themselves and each other.

I can hear you all now......AAAWWWW isn't that cute? Now does your opinion change when I tell you the friend in question is a boy? Now your up there rereading those sentences and ten bucks says you stop on the "They've had a bath together" and "..in Zoe's bed." Now I know not all of you will be thinking like this...but at some point, someone will read this who goes "OMG" what are you thinking??"

I'm thinking that it's important for Zoe to have friends. I'm thinking that a friend is a friend is a friend. I'm thinking that anyone who honestly believes something BAD will happen simply because a little boy and a little girl share a bath or a bed needs their heads read. These are 5 and 6 year old kids! If your seriously thinking along those lines I suggest you take a look at your own thought processes..

At bath time, they got undressed, took a look at each others bits, pointed and laughed, were over it in about 60 seconds and then promptly climbed in and did exactly what Zoe and her other friends do when they have a bath together...they had fun and got clean all at the same time!

Now I suppose your wondering why I'm writing what would seem to be a defensive post. Well I guess I am. Call it instinct, call it my natural optimism that some people who have nothing better to do with their time will at some point read this post and send nasty emails or leave derogatory comments regarding my parenting skills. Well guess what? My little girl has a friend over tonight and they've had a great time (still are in fact!) so unless your going to say "oh isn't that great!" or something along those lines, then bugger off ok? This is my blog, and I can, and will delete any comments I don't like...

Now, I'll get down off my little soapbox, and just say one more thing before I head to bed for the night....have you been to visit Winsome Gunning yet? She's this weeks renter, and she hasn't quite got her credits worth yet, so do yourself, and me, a favor and head on over. Be sure to check out some of the archives. Personally I'm loving it over there at the moment....I just LOVE her current post!

Nighty night peoples. Sweet dreams!

P.S. Poppy, put the shotgun down and take that ammo out ok? Babe has it under control.....

where the hell is my baby girl.....part 2

Remember this post? Well tonight I was asking myself the same question.....

Zoe was having a bath tonight and it came time to wash her hair. I was promptly told that "I can do it myself. Just tell me how to do." So I did. And she did it. As evidenced by these photos. Then she wouldn't let me dry her, or her hair. Or help dress her. Or brush her hair. I go spend ONE day at a first aid course, I come home and all of a sudden she's a GROWN UP. Babe, what did you do with my BABY GIRL DAMMIT!!!

Has anyone seen her??

oh my...

I had literacy group with Zoe and her reading buddies this morning at school. The SA teacher pulled me aside before we'd started to show me what Zoe had been up to earlier in the week. They had read a book about insect eating plants, venus fly traps and the like. Anyway one of the activities after was for the kids to make up their own plant. Zoe called hers a 'biteasaurus' and it had mouths coming out of the stem and looked great, very cool picture. But thats not what the teacher wanted to show me.

In the books the plants had little talking bubbles with things that the plant might say if it could talk....just to impart more info in a fun way for the kids. So Zoe had drew one of those. Do you know what her plant was saying?

F$%^ off. You can blow up you b???a

I kid you not. She even had the spelling correct, except for the last one, we couldn't quite make that out....

I have an inkling of idea where it came from, particularly when she told me what they'd been discussing just prior to drawing. But my stomach is still in knots.

I have to wonder that even though she doesn't see it, that she's aware of crap happening around this place. She's been defiant, and a little angry. But it could be many different things though. Kids live with much worse things than their parents going through an emotional patch, which is what this is really, she doesn't see any of it so she's not copying us, not that we speak to each other like that anyway! It could be that school is boring her, and it is....it's being looked at by the principal. It could be that she's picking up on mum and dad being upset at times. It could be she is just getting over being sick. It could be a stage. It could be the influence of a friends son <----my guess is this one. But I just don't know!

I do know that I honestly never expected to see something like from her. Well not until at least high school! I mean I never even knew she knew how to spell it for crying out loud....I've gotta be off, have pies to sort and distribute then a training session for the brekkie program starting at the school soon...

my daughter, the nerd...

Well I bought Zoe a present today. She's at home sick with a cold - which if left unchecked in cold air can set off her asthma - and has been a trooper. She was so excited when I gave it to her, she nearly cried. It was a bloody DICTIONARY! It's official, Zoe is a nerd, a geek, one of those kids that forever has their nose in a book, has more questions than I have answers and genuinely enjoys learning and exploring the world. Now, I don't see anything wrong with any of this. I love her more than I ever thought possible, but my god I'm scared for her!

You see I was also a geek, the nerd, the straight A student who was endlessly picked on, laughed at and generally just made fun of at school. Admittedly not so much in primary school, but at high school...it was horrible. It never seemed to bother me too much but then again I wasn't "THE" nerd of the school. You know the kid that reads the dictionary on the bus? The one whose socks were always perfectly aligned with one another at right angles to the hypotenuse of the blah blah blah.....Every school has one. It's as compulsory as a school bully.

Anyway, back to the point. I'm scared Zoe is going to be that kid. As a parent I'm torn. Do I continue encouraging and developing Zoe's special talents and desires for learning? Or do I persuade her that sports, and cool clothes are far more important? Do I buy her a hard cover Encyclopedia? Or do I get her a karaoke machine with all her friends favorite songs on it? Do I throw out the dictionary and buy some paper doll books instead? Do I embrace the nerdness and simply beat up any who dare pick on her? Or do I make her a superficial "Cool kid?"

Having been the geek at school, I wouldn't wish some of what I experienced upon anyone. At the same time I WISH I had the same opportunities that she will receive as a result of better education system that caters for those like her. Perhaps some of my schooling experiences would have been more enjoyable had I been challenged, and worked with other kids like myself. When all is said and done, I didn't turn out too bad, and whilst there are some tough memories from school, some of the best times of my life are also from that time. But for that poor bloke who used to read the dictionary on the school bus (yes there really was a kid at our school who was THAT much of a nerd) his life must have been a living nightmare....not that I think he honestly saw it that way, I don't think he gave a rats ass!

I want Zoe to be happy, in whatever capacity she chooses. But I find myself already pushing her. Not in a scholarly fashion, in fact its the dead opposite. I have to push her out the door and say 'just go play!' On the school holidays she nearly cried when I wouldn't let her start her 'homework' (the pile of worksheets her teacher generously let me gather at Zoe's request) on Good Friday. I told her NO, you need a break Zoe, just enjoy yourself, and your toys, and being outside looking for bugs and getting dirty and all those things that you do as a child. But am I doing that for her? Or for me? Am I simply scared that she'll become that nerd kid we all picked on in school and can't bear the thought of watching it? What if thats she wants to be? Do I have the right to try and make her something other than what she is, or will become? How much of our influence as a parent do we have the right to exercise when it comes to who our children will become?

I guess that no matter what we do, our children are ultimately responsible for the person they will be, but the responsibility of guiding them along their journey is as heartbreakingly difficult as it is joyous. I doubt my decisions and abilities as a mother every day, and have done so since the day she was born. I guess I should be concerned if I ever stop doing that, it means I don't give a shit.

p.s THE NERD from our school? He's now working for NASA.....

happy mothers day!

To all the mum's out there, have a great day won't you? Bask in the love of your family, enjoy the simple things that the kids do for you and sit back and be damn proud of your status as mother.

We are raising the future you and me....no-one ever tells you THAT when you sign up for this job. All that responsibility. But then again, lets face it, if we ever received a job description, or that bloody instruction manual we're all STILL waiting for, this species would have died out long ago. Even if we had received something, it still wouldn't have been enough.NOTHING can prepare you for the journey that is motherhood. All the crap, all the emotions, all the heartache, all the sleeplessness, all the frustration, ALL OF IT is blown away by four little words:

I LOVE YOU MUM

And that right there is why we go back for seconds.....have a good one mums, you are truly my heroes.