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bucket of shit..

conection is dodgy, I feel like crap, have the house to myself and Zoe all weekend and will probably spend most of it cursing the net speed or lack thereof, in bed bemoaning being a women and gorging myself stupid on some of that fudge I made.....

Hope you are all doing better than me right now!

you know what I really hate?

When your surfing, and you come across a blog or page that has videos and music auto start.

It's rude.

I don't walk around with my walkman playing and NO headphones subjecting people who are passing by to my god awful taste in music.

So why do you do it?

You know what else I hate?

When babe puts cold things from the freezer on me.

It's rude.

I've asked him time and time again to not do it.

So why does he do it?

bloody ads...

What is it with dodgy ads on the telly at the moment? Is it a global issue, or something that only us poor bastards here on the border are subjected to with thanks to pathetic regional television? Bring back those fantastic ads that were on during the Olympics in 2000. Remember those?? Fosters NAILED it. To this day, it was one of the BEST ad campaigns I've ever seen. That and the 'Is Don. Is Good' ones with the gogo mobile man. Just classic.

The worst of the current bunch would have to be, without a doubt, the pathetic attempts by Rivers. Apparently I'm nothing but a brain dead consumer. Either that or the 'advertisements' - and I use the term loosely - are the result of a work experience kids work ending up on the wrong desk. Let me give you a rundown:

It's a simple slideshow of what could possibly be scanned pages straight from a Rivers catalog thats seen better days. Some versions get a little complicated. They have more than 3 different pictures. The genius who can count past 3 has my vote for Prime Minister...The voice overs - one for each slide show - are monotonous, boring and could be the bloke that waits for the pub to open at 10am every day. I'm not sure. One of them could even be the chick from the local servo who I'm sure can't remember her name. But heres where it gets good. Can you guess what they are saying? I'll bet ya can't. They are saying "WHY.....are Rivers clothes.....soooooo comfortable?" Now I'm not only brain dead but my short term memory apparently sucks too cos they say it TWICE. And thats the ad.

Now I've been trying to rack my brains for days over what marketing tactic they are utilising to get me to buy their goods. They aren't appealing to my parental side, there is no free toy involved. They certainly aren't trying to play on my emotions. I think the guy who used to tell you the time when you phoned had more life in his voice than these guys. They aren't going for a time limit thing, this is a clearance store. Everything is on special. All the time.

Then it hit me. It's brilliant. Pure class. They'll be teaching this tactic at uni's for years to come. They've employed "PISS OFF THE CONSUMER WITH PATHETIC ADS UNTIL THEY COME INTO THE STORE TO PUNCH OUR LIGHTS OUT & WHILE THEY ARE HERE HOPEFULLY THEY'LL BUY SOMETHING" strategy. I think if I see the ad one more time tonight they will succeed....that is, up until the punch their lights out part....

when is enough enough?

Ok, I apologise in advance for the cryptic nature of this post, and for any incoherancy and/or straight out babbling that may follow....this is simply a VENT post that I need to do, but details will NOT be forthcoming anytime soon, so please don't ask ok?

At what point do you STOP making an effort on something that is SUPPOSED to be a two way street? How long do you keep trying, and smiling, and pretending to be pleased about what your doing? How much energy and emotion do you expend when it seems that only one is playing the game? When is enough enough, if it's someone else's life your playing with? When do you just give up on something that isn't yours to give up?

I was extremely disappointed and disheartened today by someone who is supposed to give a shit. Someone who DOES give a shit deep down, but can't seem to find the energy, or the time, or even be excited about something so precious that some people can only DREAM about having it in their lives. Someone who unfortunately will always have the right to ask for it. And will probably get it. No matter what.

I'm pissed as hell. Call it a gut feeling. Call it women's intuition. But I get the feeling that i'm ALWAYS going to be the one making the fuckin effort. Nothing has been said that I could use as cold hard evidence, in fact everything said has been the RIGHT things. But it's what is NOT being said that upsets me more than anything. It's the questions that are never asked. It's the acceptance that the pitiful amount I offer freely is enough. It's the lack of contact unless I initiate it. It's the time now lost forever. It's the memories that will never be created. It's the choice that I HAVE to protect because it's not my choice to make. It's the 'I can take it or leave it' attitude to an offer that by all rights I shouldn't have to offer. I've done my time. I've done the hard bit. I've done all the hard work. But you know what? I will KEEP doing it. And I will shut my mouth about how much that pisses me off and leave door open incase someone wants to walk through it. It's not my door to close. And some people will never know how much it costs me to hold it open. Some things in life are just the burden of a responsibility that was thrust upon me by forces I don't understand and I accept that. I don't have to like it. But I accept it.

Sometimes I wish I could just let that door go, just to see if the person on the other side has the guts to hold out their hand and stop it closing......but of course that would require effort now wouldn't it?

decisions to make

Hey everyone, i'm probably going to be a little absent over the next few weeks if not longer. I have some decisions to make, and issues to deal with that unfortunately you can't help me with. I won't elaborate on what is happening, but will say that recently a trust was betrayed, a heart has nearly been broken and i'm struggling with things I never thought I'd have to think about let alone deal with.

I am, and will be, ok. But for now my posts will probably degenerate into bum fluff, links, and cute pics of dogs with heart shaped bonnets or some other crap. I may surprise myself and find that the amazing world that is known as the blogosphere will infact become a place of escape for me and I will continue to post, however I do know that it won't be in the same vein as usual, and i'm not sure what this place will turn into in the short term. For those of you who I consider friends, and you know who you are, please bear with me as I work through this difficult time in my life. I will endeavor to continue reading my fav blogs, but I do know it won't be on an as regular basis. Again, please bear with me. For those of you who are here for the first time, feel free to browse the archives and old blogs, as that is where the good stuff is. This isn't the usual atmosphere here at debambam.com

Please know that we are all ok.

Oh I forgot to tell you all, Zoe recieved a principal's award on friday ☺ and is a trooper, I do have a pic or two and will post at a later date. I'm off for now, it's late, i've had a crap nights sleep that started way too late and finished way too early and the munchkin will have me up at sparrow fart in the morning to get ready for school......take it easy ok?