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ethical dilemma...

Ok, I got a book out from the library called "101 Ethical Dilemmas" by Martin Cohen- just for fun. I know, I know, how sick am I right?! Anyway, thought I'd share one with you all...let me know what you would do! And be honest, this is just a blog, not some worldwide forum where what we say adversely affects the rest of humankind. Have fun....

"Sam's live-in partner has a taste in expensive nik-naks - things like toasters which burn an icon of the day's weather on the toast, or solar-powered fountains for the garden pond. The toaster is in the cupboard as it always burnt the middle of the tast and under-did the rest, whilst the garden fountain clogged up after a day and sank to the bottom of the pond.

Unsolicited, a catalogue drops through the letterbox from a very fancy - and expensive - postal store, computer-addressed to the partner.

Should Sam quietly get rid of it before they can be misled - or give it to them when they get home and wait for the next disastrous mistake?"

Personally I would LOVE to throw the thing straight in the bin, but I'm not convinced this would be the right thing to do.

For one thing, the mail is addressed to a particlar person, therefore Sam is throwing out someone else's mail. If it had been addressed to the 'householder' or some other generic term, then so sad, too bad, adios.

On another note, surely Sam's partner has the right to choose what he/she purchases with their money? To take away that choice is an infringement on his partner's freedom. It's not Sam's choice to make.

Having said all that, I'm sure everyone would think along the lines of 'Well, they would never know would they?' and I will admit, I'd be one of them. As for whether I'd act on it? Put me in that position and I'll let ya know :)

Feel free to discuss in finer detail. I doubt that I'll be blogging tomorrow. Between PT session yesterday, swimming this morning and Yoga this evening I have a funny feeling my body is going to rebel in a big way tomorrow. Besides, mum's got a new toy that I need to tweak, but I'll let her tell you all about that one......have fun!

new poll

Ok, I'm going to post this here instead of in the sidebar, cos at least then you can see it! With the whole new makeover of my life and myself I figured this should get one too. Not too drastic, just going to add a new theme and leave only 3 of the old ones on there, which is where this poll comes in! Let me know which ones you like and WHY....give me some direction here ok? Of course like most things I will still do it MY way, but some pointers from those that view it would be good and MAYBE even included:)

Have a few posts running round my head right now, but may take a few days to get them out. I figure it's nearly time for a rant..
Not sure whether this poll will work as i've copied/pasted the html in...we'll see in a minute when I post it won't we?? ***It works fine, I just tested it :)

Top ten questions we want to ask you yankee doodles.

Ok, this list started cos anonymum (coming to a blog community near you soon!) ws curious about the whole gerbil/hamster thing. With all the differences between such similar countries (we both think macca's is a basic food group), it got us to thinking about the things that confuse us the most. We could have gone into the whole 50 states and 500 accents thing, or the insistence of shortening words which we are apparently famous for. We don't really, all we do is loose the G of everythin...<---SEE!! You guys have it down to an art form though - y'all, sumbitch etc etc. There was so many things that we could have touched on but figured it would piss someone off really bad, so we left it alone...like Nixon, or did you REALLY land on the moon, you know, that kind of thing. But we don't want to upset anyone so we won't go there ok?!

Anyway, movin <---see I did it again, right along, here are the top 10 questions we'd like you to help us out with:

1. What the f#$% is the difference between a Gerbil and a Hamster?
2. Why do you keep stealing the U out of color?
3. How can it take 6 hours to play a game of football - and I use the term loosely due to lack of contact between FOOT and BALL? While on the subject, are they actual MEN playing out there or animated mattress? Cos with all that padding it's a little confusing...
4. When are you going to stop calling your butt a FANNY? We have nightmares over the term "FANNY PACK!" Stop it already!
5. Why do you insist on spreading Vegemite like you are laying bricks? Don't you realise someone in history was obviously messing with your heads???!
6. Do you write your dates backwards because you are really the ones that are upside down? And when are you going to teach your toilets to flush the RIGHT way?
7. When are you going to apologise to the rest of us for Jerry Springer, Conan O'Brien and Anna Nicole Smith?
8. When will you admit our beaches are better than yours?
9. What drugs were being consumed when someone came up with the idea for 'peanut butter and jelly' (which by the way is JAM!!) and where can I get some?! No, not the PB&J...
10. How quickly can I be sued for this post?!!!

Now please don't send me nasty e-mails cos I've 'dissed' your country, this is very tongue in cheek, as most of my readers will immediately recognise. For those of you that don't, please STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER SCREEN!

I don't get it...

...why did Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code create such controversy yet Angels and Demons didn't?

I'm currently reading the latter, and have read the former several times. Personally I think Angels and Demons is the better written of the two, following a formula that I would assume runs through all of his novels. Book starts with a horrible murder, Robert Langdon is woken up at an ungodly hour by someone he doesn't know to help solve the mystery that has religious connotations. Theories regarding religions are offered with some not so far fetched ideas yadda yadda yadda...

What I don't understand is that both novels challenge traditional thinking regarding Catholic beliefs yet The Da Vinci Code divided the world and elicited a response from the Catholic Church, and Angels and Demons hasn't. It makes you wonder why. Is it because it is the more believable of the two? Is it because some of Dan's theories hit a little too close to the truth? Whilst I'm not a religious person in any way, shape or form, I have an enormous respect for all religions, and at times envy peoples ability to have faith. Maybe that clouds my ability to see this clearly. But can anyone explain why one book had such an affect and the other didn't?

Personally I think it has as much to do with religion as it does sexism. The Da Vinci Code suggested (amongst other things) that women had been a little hard done by with thanks to the Catholic Church. That the patriarchal basis of Catholicism was engineered by men with power and knowledge to suit their own needs. So on the one hand you have women reading this book and thinking hey, maybe he has a point. Then you have the men who read it who are maybe just a tad concerned that their power and control may have been contrived rather than being the natural order of things. From someone who isn't religious, I see the theory that science and God are interrelated as talked about in Angels and Demons as interesting and thought provoking as those offered in The Da Vinci Code, hence my inability to understand the stark differences in reactions from those reading the books, the churches and the world in general. Can anyone help me out here cos frankly I don't have a clue!

At the end of the day, there is also this, and I know many have said it before me, and plenty will say it after me. Both novels, are just that. NOVELS. Works of fiction. A bunch of words brought together to tell a story with thanks to one man's imagination.

Love him or hate him, you have to admire Dan Brown's success in generating discussion about this most dividing of topics. I just wish I could understand why it was one book and not another that did so....

thank you..

..all for the wonderful thoughts in the comments of the last post. And for the private emails. They really do mean a lot.

Just to clarify for you all though, I wasn't talking about blogging.

Some of you know what has been happening in my life over the last few months, I mean the not so rosey stuff, the stuff I DON'T write about here cos I like warm and fuzzy feelings. Some of you don't. For those that don't this won't make much sense, and for that I do apologise. For those that do, thanks for you awesome support during this time.

Anyway, it's all getting a little too hard. Now I'm not one to run away from anything thats difficult, and there are times when I can still see the light at the end of the tunnel. My problem is, I don't know if I have the energy and emotional stamina to crawl that far. And yes, it's crawling. I need to figure out WHY I'm still crawling towards that light and decide whether or not it's for the right reasons. Is it guilt? Is it simply "I won't give in?" Is it "I'll prove you all wrong?" Is it loyalty? Is it easier than the alternative? Is it for my little girl? Is it because I KNOW we can get through this? Is it because I don't want to be alone? Is it just easier to not make a decision? Is it because ultimately I really do want what I know is at the end?

There are so many possible reasons for me being here still. I didn't mention love in all of those questions. Of that there is no doubt. But sometimes it's just not enough you know? I guess I need to figure out two things when it comes down to it:

• What do I want and need?
• Am I getting enough of what I want and need?

No matter the circumstances, if the second answer is too different to the first one ,for anyone, then it's time to think long and hard isn't it? That's where I'm at right now. I'm thinking long and hard.

To totally change the subject on you now, here is a pic of me with the son and daughter in law mentioned two posts down. I think this is the first RECENT pic -and you can't get much more recent than yesterday - I've EVER posted on this blog. I'm sure it will shatter any illusions you may have about me :)

Poll of the week

Poll of the week is back. Check it out under the blog heading over in sidebar. Put your mouseover the question to make it scroll so you can read it all :)

new themes

Just in case you didn't notice, two new themes are up. One is based on the marbles one I had with the old template. Just for you Emma! The latest one i've called chocolate.....mmmm yummo! Enjoy.

I was thinking about bringing back the poll of the week, what do you guys think?

blogging..

Both Sass and Evan got me to thinking today. Sass with this post, and Evan with this comment.

A lot of people ponder and ask the question, why do you/we blog? I've answered this in the past, and asked it even, not that anybody really bothered answering, but hey, shit happens right? But tonight I'd thought I'd delve a little into deeper into why the blog seems a little more attractive than "real life." (hereafter referred to as RL)

So lets start with the basics. Why do you blog? For me, its an outlet, a way of venting, sharing and expressing in a way that is both me, yet isn't. I can be more than what I am, can show you the bits I want you to see, and take my time when writing. It might take 2 hours to do a post on one topic, experience or opinion. Can you imagine having this freedom in RL? No way is someone you just met going to wait for 2 hours while you compose a coherent and articulate response to the question "So what do you think about XYZ??" It just wouldn't happen! It's also a record of who I am at a time when Zoe only sees me as MUM. Which is fine, but I'm sure, like most of us, there will come a time when she wonders what mum was like when she was younger. So I do this blog thing and print them all out occasionally in the hopes that one day she will be interested in taking a peek. If not, I'll sure have some great reading when I'm older and senile, wondering about this crazy chick who calls herself debambam...

I also blog as a way of interacting with people. As much as we ALL say these blog things are ours, and we will write what we want, if NO-ONE ever took the time to read it or comment, would we bother long term? How long can you carry on a one way conversation before it starts getting lame? No matter who you are, a little validation once in a while is a good thing. Even if it's just a 'YOU SUCK.' And if thats not seriously what your after, then chances are you are keeping a paper diary rather than an online one. I could be wrong, but I honestly think that ANYONE who keeps an online journal wants people to read it. Look deep down inside yourself and tell me if I'm wrong.

Ok, onto what got me started on this track. Evan made the comment "Didn't realise that I would invest 'emotional' stuff in the blog family." He's so right. He may have just been messing with me, but it got me to thinking. Can you form real and valid emotional attachments to people you've never met? I think the emotions can be very real. I've cried for blog friends, I've laughed with them, I've enjoyed their triumphs and got mad and angry right alongside them. But are the relationships based on reality? How much of a person can you REALLY know by reading their blog? I think that this is kind of like the whole BB thing. We get to see a very select and predetermined amount of people and their lives. And lets face it, its the bits they CHOOSE to show us!

I'm the same. You guys see what I want you to see, hear about the bits I wasn't to you hear about. How many of you know the REASON I'm seeing a counselor once a fortnight? Or if it's helping! Or know about my extended family and when explaining to Zoe why she has two dads it was easy for her to accept after explaining all of that to her? Favorite color anyone? How about what I wanted to do when I finished school? What song I lost my virginity to? These are all parts of the tiny details that help make me who I am. So when someone (not specifically you Ev, just in general here) feels they are emotionally invested in me on some level, is that okay to be based on only a part of who I am? Does it make it any less real than those I connect to in RL? You guys probably know more about what is going on in my day to to day life than most of my family.

Which brings me to my next point. Why is it that I feel guilty when I get emails from you all saying 'where the heck are you?' or I don't blog for more than 2 days running, yet it's been over two weeks since I spoke to anyone other than my mum from my family and we are all ok with that? If anyone wasn't I'm sure I would've heard about it by now and seeing as how I made the last 2 phone calls to all of them - not you mum - I figure it's their turn! Having said that, I'll probably spend most of Sunday giving them all a call..But anyway, I was thinking about why it's easier to do that than with the people we meet on the net. I came up with two reasons.

Firstly, time seems to move so much quicker in this world, than in RL. Have you ever noticed that? Don't believe me? Don't read your favorite blog for 2 weeks and then try and play catchup! Not only that, but friends are far fickler and less forgiving in the blogosphere. People will link and delink you quicker than you can say 'blogroll me baby!' Maybe thats because we are offering, and therefore receiving a superficial version of ourselves. Depth takes time. And not everyone has the time. I've been blogging since January and in that time I've changed my fav blogs so often it's not funny. Not recently though. I think I've found my crew who all offer me something different. And I value each and every one of them. But it feels like I've been reading them FOREVER!

Secondly, safety, and a sense of distance. If you come across someone you don't like, or doesn't like you, it's easy to simply ignore them. Remove them from your blogroll if they piss you off. Delete those nasty uncalled for comments. Can't do that in real life can you? You can ignore people. But you can't erase them from your life. What if your best friend was friends with someone you couldn't stand in RL? Makes nights out at the pub interesting hey?!! But here, you can just not read that persons stuff. Nice and easy. No-ones feelings are hurt if you don't read Joe Bloe's blog just because he's friends with Mary who you read daily right? In this day and age of predators too, it's a little safer. You get satisfaction of interaction without (as long as your careful not to post your RL addy and phone number and b/a details etc etc) the fear of being hurt physically. Any form of r'ship offers a chance of being hurt emotionally, but physically, your pretty safe on the net. No-one can punch you through their screen, drag you to their van and do nasty things to you in a back ally somewhere where no-one can hear you can they?

Anyway, I'm pretty sure I've bored you all stupid now, hell even I'm nearly asleep after reading through it all! But I went for a drive tonight and got to thinking about what is so attractive about the relationships we form on the net. And please don't anyone misunderstand me when your reading this. I have people whom I've never met who I call FRIEND, and mean it. There are at least 10 of you out there who I would love to buy coffee/guiness/beer/beverage of your choice one day. I'm merely letting my mind wander after some of those said friends got me to thinking about some stuff....thanks for listening guys.

anzac bikkies, breast milk and BB

• There is nothing quite like a good old home made anzac bikkie, straight out of the oven...and i've got it down pat. They look like bought ones. Let me know if you want the recipe.
• The local news ran a small filler item a few days ago. Apparently breast milk is far better for both mum and baby than formula. Who would have thought it hey? I wonder why they continue to recycle news stories like this every few years or so. I'm sure it's simply researchers trying to justify their funding...they keep changing the results so it looks like they are finding new ones all the time...i'm onto them though! But onto the BM vs Formula debate. I agree that BM is obviously the first and best choice. Mother nature is an amazing thing..think about just how much we do without knowing HOW to do it, like when your pregnant. You don't sit there and say "Oh it's time to grow the left ear today!" do you? No, it just all happens. Mother nature instils instincts in all of us that help us survive. It gives us the tools to survive. So it makes sense that it will provide the best tools for our babies. Did you know that BM changes according to your babies needs? How does it do that? I still look at Zoe sometimes and think "O.M.G. I can't believe I DID that." Blows me away every time. But BM doesn't always work for some. Like someone who is very close to me. She couldn't breastfeed, it made her sick. Literally. So when it came time for feeding, she would get all tense and bubs would pick up on that, wouldn't feed properly, and the milk wouldn't come down cos she was far too stressed. For her, and therefore her child, formula was better. But she gave it a go. And did so way past what she probably should have. I totally forgot what my point was...bugger.
• Big Brother maybe over, and names almost forgotten, but Australian Idol is ready to take over and feed the cravings for those reality tv junkies...and i'm not interested in the slightest. Will probably watch it when they show the auditions that were held here though. I know a couple of try hards who probably did just that - tried hard!
• It's 11.30pm. I've had about 4 hours sleep. I need to be up in 7 hours to get ready to feed 30 kids, THEN do literacy with one of the reading groups in Zoe's class THEN canteen, THEN come home and do some research for quiz questions with Zoe and find her some plans for a bug catcher. So can you tell me why i'm still up?

can't be bothered giving this post a title..

..so I won't!

I've been busy. As you've probably gathered from the lack of posting. My mother called me to see if I was alive to day because I hadn't posted for two days...

Have lots to share, including a rant, a rave and some of my invaluable wisdom, but that can wait for another day. Right now I'm doing a cheaters post and sending you off to some other sites cos quite frankly, I can't bothered, just like the title says! Oh and just for fun, why don't you all just discuss the following hypothetical in the comments amongst yourselves..

If you had the chance to find out what the 'meaning of life' was, BUT you could never record, write, discuss, allude to or even hint about it with anyone else, would you? A simple yes or no answer will not suffice here...I wanna know WHY you choose yes or no.

Ok, here are some links -in no particular order - for you to go see:

• This weeks renter - Clusterfook. She's rude, she's crude but my god she's funny! Not for kiddies this one, but well worth a look for us wannabe grownups..
• Brainteasers - Kind of says it all doesn't it? Go flex those brain muscles..
• Big things - Us Aussies pride ourselves on our BIG things, obviously a bloke thing happening here, I mean 'big is better' is NOT always the case - and I'm talking about CHOCOLATE cakes here before you accuse me of being a naughty girl. I mean think about it, if you had a chocolate cake the size of your lounge room wouldn't it be torture to see it sitting there and NOT being able to fit just one more crumb in after you've gorged yourself stupid? I think at the moment we are really quite envious of our Yankee counterparts though. It's a close contest but I do believe you guys have the bigger idiot running the country..

Have fun, try not to kill each other in the comments hey? I don't like cleaning up....