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mchappy day

Last week, Zoe saw some ads on the telly for McHappy Day and asked what it was, so I told her all about it. So she made an envelope, and wrote a poster asking people to help the sick kids...and put some money in it as a donation. It was her own money that nanny had given to her to do what she wanted with it. It was just gorgeous. She made me promise to take her so that she could give them the envelope and donation and buy a big mac to donate another dollar to the Ronald McDonald House charity. So we did. They loved her present and put the donation in their cans and then stuck her poster up on the wall with the coloring competition entrants. Then she had her face painted.

I love that she not only wants to know about charities, and giving, but that she understands that its a good thing to do, AND she wants to do it. She quite often asks for coins to put in the guide dog money boxes at the supermarket, or instead of throwing toys and old clothes out we'll give them to charity shops to sell or give to those less fortunate. I'm really very proud of my little girl who has a social conscious and who genuinely loves to help others....guess I must be doing something right hey! If your in Australia, and haven't done so already, head on down to your nearest Maccas and buy a big mac. If Zoe can do it, then so can you...have a good one!

Did I ever tell you about...when I found out I was pregnant?

I'd been feeling a little off for some time, even been to the doctors and had a few tests done, one of those being a pregnancy test. Nothing was found so I continued to just feel like crap. I was tired, grumpy, my digestive system wasn't what it used to be resulting in issues of a kind that I'd never had to deal with before. At one point the doctor was going to check for irritable bowel syndrome!

Anyway, I'd just kind of accepted that something wasn't right, but seeing as how we could find nothing I just went on living life. Working, playing and putting on the little pot belly that always arrives just before winter. That was until the bad gas started. There seemed to be no rhyme nor reason to it. I watched what I was eating to see if that was the problem, but nothing seemed to be related. So off I trundle to the doctor. It was getting ridiculous. Lotsa gas inside, but nothing coming out where it was supposed to..kinda freaked me out really!

So we go through the usual, temperature, blood pressure, weight, yadda yadda yadda. He asked me to pop up on the table and lay down so could feel my tummy. He pokes, he prods, he feels. He says "Thats not gas, your feeling, thats someone saying hello!"

I was speechless. No speechless is too subtle a word. Flabbergasted. Dumbstruck. IN TOTAL AND UTTER disbelief still doesn't even come close. I think from memory my response was "Are you sure?" He just looked at me and pointed to the umpteen degrees on the wall. He did a urine test just to be sure..that little cross came through in a nanosecond. It was definite. I was pregnant. The question now was, how far along was I? He hazarded a guess and suggested around 4 months....HOLY CRAP! Not only was I pregnant but I was at least a third of the way through!

For most people, this would be startling news enough. But for me it was doubly so. See earlier in my life I was told that I probably wouldn't be able to have kids. After several miscarriages, exploratory surgery and no reason for what was happening to me and my body, the doctors eventually concluded that perhaps my reproductive system would never really work properly. Sometimes it just happens. Whilst they could find no valid reason why I was having problems, I was.

Now, here was a doctor telling me that indeed I was going to have a baby. It was my dream come true. Literally. All I ever wanted was to be a mum. I had career aspirations, I had goals, but they were always changing depending upon my mood. But becoming a mum was something I had dreamed of since I was 16 and had never wavered.

I was a little emotional as he got me an appointment for an ultrasound as a due date would be a handy thing. In the absence of a 'last period' factor that would actually help, it would be deduced from the size of the baby which had grown unbeknownst to me over the last 20 odd weeks. If I thought that the previous days appointment was emotional, nothing prepared me for the ultrasound.

I arrived, with extremely full bladder as requested and waited with about 5 other ladies all in rather urgent need of a toilet for the doctor to call our names. We waited. And waited. And waited some more. FINALLY some were asked to come through, me being one of them. The male doctor was aware of the waiting time, and the fact that there were still more waiting so he rushed through all the different things he was supposed to be looking for and then he said "Theres the heart, can you see it beating?" He turned up the volume and then I could HEAR it. I lost the plot...burst into tears. THIS WAS REAL..There was life in my body and there was it's hearbeat...I was sobbing so much he couldn't see anything properly on the screen now with all the movement. He asked if I was ok. My response?

"Yesterday I thought I had gas, and now I'm looking at a heartbeat on a screen, forgive me if I'm a little emotional"

To his credit, he immediately stopped what he was doing, and whilst getting me some much needed tissues said he would back things up a bit and apologised for assuming I'd had an ultrasound before seeing as how I was so far along. He gave me a few moments to compose myself and tell him my story. He asked if I wanted to know what sex the baby was. I said 'hell yeah, I've had enough of surprises already thanks!' He took a look around and after more time decided I was having a girl. He wanted to be sure so went to get another doctor who had a 100% success rate in determining sex so I could be sure. It gave me a few moments to think. Bad move.

I was having a baby. An unplanned baby. A baby I shouldn't be having. They said so didn't they?? Her father and I had broken up because he had 'been there, done that' with the whole family thing and wasn't sure if he wanted to do it again. I did. Not necessarily with him, but at some point I did. I would be a single mum. Not exactly the rosy dreams I'd been holding close since I could remember. What kind of mother would I be when I didn't even know I was pregnant? The guilt kicked in at that point. How could I not know? How on earth could I look after a child when I didn't even recognise that I was carrying one? Then I got worried. I'd been smoking, drinking, heavy physical work, eating like crap. OMG what if there was something wrong with my baby?

The doctors arrived and I said forget about the sex for the minute, I need to know if my baby has all the right bits in all the right places. They quickly assured me everything was just fine and my little girl was doing just nicely. I don't think I've ever been so relieved in all my life as I was at that point. Turns out that not only was she doing well, but she was 24 weeks into a 40 week pregnancy, over half way already.....doctor was only out by a few weeks!

Later on that night, I'd called her father, I was on the phone to him and we were discussing a few things when names came up. He had two boys so I asked him what girls name he would have chosen if they'd had a girl. He didn't even hesitate. "ZOE" I really liked it. "Ok," I said, "what about middle names? I'd like my middle name" He replied with Amy - his mothers name. So two middle names were decided on. I could see no reason why not and that way we both had a say. (At this point in time he was excited about the idea of having a baby girl and was going to be part of her life) "Alright - so we've got ZOE LOUISE AMY" but it didn't sound right..."What about ZOE AMY LOUISE?" I simultaneously heard "That's IT!" in triplicate as mum, anonypop and her father all agreed. It sounded right. It felt right. It was perfect.

And so she was she.

Zoe at four days old.

And that is how I found out I was pregnant, with a baby girl whose name would be Zoe Amy Louise - all within a very small amount of time. I found it wonderfully ironic to learn that her name meant "LIFE" Very appropriate!

Zoe's new school.

We went this morning to meet the principal of Zoe's new school. I was already so confident that I'd chosen the right one that her school uniform is already hanging up in the wardrobe :)

It went well. He is lovely, her new teacher is lovely and she is very excited! Because of the differences between states it looked like she would be part of 2 classes - the preschool, which is kinda like kindergarten, and Grade one - both 5 days a fortnight. But it turns out that she can go straight into Grade 1 because she was born in 2000! Yay for her! We thought there might be a few social issues which is why the transition period of both classes was suggested, but all the kids in her new class are 5 or 6, one turns 7 in December, so there is a nice mix, and judging by the words up on the board, she'll do just fine academically. The principal asked her if she knew some of them, and she did - all of them! If she's behind in anything, like maths or science, then she'll be able to focus on those cos she's so far ahead on the language front, but personally I think she'll blitz them. Too many people underestimate her ability and don't give her the chance to shine. I think she's going to surprise herself and us.

I have been invited along to a P&C meeting tomorrow night, so that will give me a chance to meet some of the other parents. If they are anything like the teachers I met today, then I'm going to enjoy this school as much as Zoe will.

We've just spent 3 days at my sister's house, which gave my little nephew and me a chance to get aquainted...it all went well and this morning when he woke up and mum had already gone to work, he was cool with having Aunty Kell and cousin Zoe instead! He's just adorable, reminds me a lot of Zoe at his age, he's going to be a smart little cookie that one. Runs in the family I think :) That and the fact that Mel and I have very similar parenting styles, it's no wonder there are similarities! They could pass for brother and sister too, I'll get a photo of the two of them before long and show you what I mean.

For now I'm off to do a little research. Tomorrow will be the first day I've had totally to myself since I ended the relationship and to be honest, as selfish as it sounds, I'm looking forward to it. I'm going to go and get my nails done, and check out the yoga center in town. I've also got to go the gym and get a schedule so Mel and myself can pick out sessions we can go to. Have fun peoples!

Our new life

Well we are here and settling into the lovely tropics ready for a new life. One with seemingly constant sunshine which can't help but raise one's spirits, birds that sound like a cat is being strangled alongside the beautiful parrots and bugs that think my feet are a damn smorgasboard! It's great. We are slowly getting used to the weather, and I even had socks on last night. But not because it was cold, it's kinda hard to do anything when your constantly scratching your damn feet :)

I won't go into the roller coaster ride of emotions that I've been on in the last few weeks. For those that have chose to leave a relationship because you need to rather than want to, you'll understand and empathise with me. For those that haven't, you don't wanna hear about it and wouldn't get it anyway. Not saying that as a bad thing, it's just that it's really not as black and white as what it may appear on the surface. Lets just say that I made the right decision, it hurts like hell, but I can, and will heal. I just need time to grieve and find myself again thats all.

Stu is arriving in town today which on the one hand is good, he is one of my best friends and has been for a long time. On the other it's not necessarily the best thing for me right now. I need to impress on him that I need my space and time to do that healing I mentioned above and that when I say we have a chance, there are a lot of ifs, buts and maybes attached to it. He says he gets it, but he really doesn't. He is still really only hearing part of what I'm saying. I'm being totally selfish right now, as I have to be, and if needs be I will end the friendship in order to save my sanity. I don't think it will come to that, but I am prepared to. I need to redefine myself outside an emotionally draining relationship and focus on Zoe and myself right now.

To that end, I've already found her school, very similar in fact to her old one, only a touch smaller. An appointment is setup for next Monday to get her enrolled and chat with the principal about her needs. They welcome parent help, have a P&C, volunteer run canteen and are excited about her coming to the school. Unlike one that I spoke to on the phone that wondered just what subject acceleration was! I'm also going to get her into a sport. My sister's boyfriend's daughter plays basketball and she's only a year older than Zoe so thats looking like a great one to start with. At least she'll have a friend there! She's missing her friends terribly, but is enjoying having nanny and poppy in the same house and her gorgeous little cousin thinks she's just the best. She's also looking forward to school. We have her uniform, it's just cool as...will post pics after her first day for you all!

As for me I'm going to go and find myself a few things to do once she's at school. Things just for me. I'm going to sign up for yoga, treat myself to a makeover, me and my sister are going to start going to the gym and I'm going to have a look at that teachers aide course and see if it's available up here. Things that will basically help me fill in the time, meet new people and help me remember who I am without all the definitions others place on me.

Things should return to normal here at spilling the beans before too long, in the meantime I thank you all for your patience, understanding and wonderful thoughts. Sometimes this internet thing sucks cos I can't reach out and give you all a big hug.....

Caption Competition - part 2

Well I must admit that whilst I was disappointed with the number of responses, from you, my VERY funny readers, what I did receive ALL deserve a mention. So here they are, in the order in which they arrived cos I can't decide on a 'winner':

Mrs A: "Where? Where is it? YOU TOLD ME that if I stick my finger any further up my nose I'll pull my brain out so WHERE IS IT?"

Vancouver Voyeur: "That has got to be the tiniest booger I've ever seen!"

Writer Chick: "Boogers, anyone? "

Michael: "Arrrrgggg...I got it! Mum, I think I got really got it! Look!"

You ALL made me spit my coffee (let me know if you want a graphic!!), you ALL made me laugh, and I can imagine Zoe saying ALL of them...maybe I'll get her to say them, record it and post them...if I can be bothered. I'm guessing you all had fun coming up with these. But honestly, who wouldn't with the bloody hilarious photo??!!

This was so much fun I might make it a regular feature.....not like I don't have enough funny photo's now is it?

Caption Competition

Thats my girl....this is the child who has an iq two points shy of being moderately being gifted in some areas.

Prizes may/may not include the following:

• A bit of fun

• Making me laugh

• A pimp post

• The coveted "You made me spit my coffee" award

So fill the comment page up with your captions people!

p.s Mum, no point in calling welfare, I already did, making fun of the funny faces your child pulls is NOT considered child abuse :)

Grandad's missing fingers

Ok, you voted. I listened. You wanted to hear about Grandad's missing fingers. I'll bet you think i'm going to explain why my father is missing the index finger and half of the middle finger on his left hand and is left with little round stumps that cause him to make up new swear words whenever I have no intentions of doing so, but I will offer you this piece of advice:

• Don't let your younguns sit on the back of the tractor poking the shit out of the cutty thingy with a stick when going round a bumpy corner of a paddock.

Ok, enough said. Onto the story you wanted.

We had been for a visit down to see the rellies, being christmas time and all, so Zoe got to spend time with Grandad and was fascinated with, and almost frightened of, his missing fingers. I guess for a kid it could be that way. Mum said he used to draw little faces on them and give us kids puppet shows over the back of the couch with them. But for some it can be a little freaky. Zoe had seen them before, but this time round she kinda shied away from them but at the same time couldn't stop looking at them.

Zoe went through a stage (still coming out the other side actually) of forever picking her nose. I mean it was an obsession. If she didn't have a finger up her nose then I was looking for needle marks because obviously someone had sedated her. Anyway we had been home for a few days after the visit and I was sick and tired of telling Zoe to get her damn fingers out of her nose. In total exasperation I finally told her "You know what happened to grandad's missing fingers? Well he was picking his nose and he shoved them so far up there they got STUCK and came right off and stayed up there!"

She looked at me in total horror, giving me visions of humungous future therapy bills.

Then she replied.

"Is that why his nose is so big?"

This is why you have children people. For comments like that one right there. And for the looks on their faces when you embarass them in front of 100 of their closest friends at their 21st birthday party retelling the stories.

that's MISS KELLY to you thanks!

Well today I spent THE whole day at the school. Here's the short version:

• 8.20am-9.25am -->Breakfast Program
• 9.30am-11am-->Class helper
• 11am-11.30am-->Canteen
• 11.30am-12.30pm-->Assembly
• 12.45pm-1.30pm-->Canteen
• 1.35pm-2.10pm-->Class teacher
• 2.10pm-3.05pm-->Father's day picture laminator

You read that second last one right. Zoe's teacher went home REALLY sick at morning recess which left one teacher with 3 classes (one teacher on release time and the other one at the 'first steps' preschool class) after lunch. So I took Zoe's class while they finished off their father's day class and send them when they'd finished back to the poor bloke who had the other two grades....me...in charge of a whole class. For about 20 mins anyway! They slowly but surely all headed of to the congregation two classes down. It was awesome. The principal popped in to check on us and was cool, the other teacher was cool with it, the kids were cool with, and I was more than cool with it! Kinda scary though. But the kids all know me, I've spent enough time in the class for them to be comfortable with me, to know all their names and for a certain level of authority to be there. When all else fails, I just threaten the kids with the idea that if they muck up I get into trouble and amazingly they come good! I joke around and have a lot of fun with them being silly and stuff so when I get serious, they tend to take me seriously. For some reason, one of the kids responds really well to me, and he usually gets into the worst trouble. I think he's ADHD - I know that he went of with the principal at one stage to have some medication. But we seem to have some kind of connection and all it takes is for me to ask him to do something and he smiles and happily obliges. Not that he's not like that at all with other people, but I've not once had the problems with him that I've seen him dish out to others. Feels good. Then again it could just be because I give him food in the mornings and he may think that if he upsets me I won't :) I prefer to think we just click.

Remember that bribing little chat I was going to have with Zoe's teacher? Well I did. And it worked. Zoe got a merit award today for "Completing the reading challenge and excellent reading" Which means she is now only 3 points from gold. So far only 4 have been awarded in the whole school. At the very very latest she'll get it in week 10 once she receives the 5 point one for good behaviour. There is no way on god's green earth will she EVER receive an incident slip while she thinks rules are more important than food!! She's almost anally retentive about them. Gets upset when someone else breaks the rules. But anyway, I'm still very very proud of her, and will continue to brag for each and every one of these little achievements Get used to it!

All in all I had a pleasant day. More than pleasant in fact. I think I should take Evan's suggestion and go start talking to some uni's about courses....lock your kids up people, Miss Kelly may just be on the way to a school near you!

Reading brings good into your life.

Had fun today, got a really good laugh over some of the comments on the last post. You guys totally rock did you know that?

Me and babe spent a few hours up at the school today, entering details online about what books participating students have read for the "Premiers Reading Challenge" It wasn't hard, but with the librarian busy looking after the munchkins from 2 grades who didn't go on camp, I figured she had her hands full 2 days before info had to be in and offered to help. So she accepted, and we did it this afternoon. Zoe, and her little boyfriend Shane were not only the only two kindergarten students to complete it, but also both of them actually read all of the books on their list. In the K-2 category, they only had to experience the book, so if someone read it to them, then that could go on the list. Which is great for making reading fun and encouraging them with an end goal, but it's a bit cool that these guys read them all themselves don't you think? I've told Zoe that for next years one, once she's done the K-2 challenge, then she can do the Gr3-4 one. Which she'll breeze through too, but the book list is obviously targeted for older kids so we may have fun finding appropriate books! She reckons when she's done that (no doubt on her part that she will do it!) she'll do the Gr5-6 one. Told her we'll see....

While on the subject of Zoe reading, see this picture here? This is her eating her FREE ice-cream she got with an award from the library for 'Great browsing and borrowing.' The local Ice Creamery donated a bunch of buy one get one free vouchers which are used a rewards for miscellaneous things. And she got one! So we trundled off this afternoon and she got a big waffle cone with chocolate and crazy cone flavors. As you can see, she's thoroughly enjoying it! And she should. She earned it. I'm very proud of my little girl! Did you know she's not far off getting her GOLD award at school? She has 52 points so only needs 8 more. I figure she should get a merit award for her reading challenge effort, maybe even the achievement award -only given out twice a term - and it's worth 10 points. I'm going to try and bribe have a chat to her teacher about it tomorrow. For all the merits she has received, not ONE of them has been for her reading...

Till next time, go read a book to your kiddies!

has anyone seen my hearing???

I've lost it somewhere. It could be in the ball pit. It could even be in my shoes. But somewhere between the hours of 12 noon and 4.30pm this afternoon it disappeared. In a big tin shed that apparently holds around 15,000 kids at once. It couldn't have been any less than that judging by the level of noise us parents were subjected to. And one of them pinched my hearing. Either that or I now have a constant low buzzing that could be squealing, it could be the collective voices of all those kids screaming mum at different intervals, it could even be my own brain yelling SHUTUP! Either way I'm currently studying the lovely art of lip reading.

Never mind, Zoe enjoyed the birthday party. As did the birthday girl. Interesting to note however that I found both of them at one time or another hiding in the helicopter cabins trying to get away from all the other kids and have some quiet time. Wasn't going to happen. I laughed. So did my ears. Go ahead, call me cruel, I don't care. I can't hear you :)